Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This was for the home team.
Tailgate Beers. Let's just start. Let's just jump right into where we left off with of 2005, 2006 time frame, I think, is where we were at.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: We went to Baghdad, remember that? And. And we're flying into Baghdad and. And that's where basically in my life, that was a determining point or determining thing that changed my life forever just because of that situation. And it comes down, in my opinion, and I've only faced it once, and not everybody probably faces it ever, but when you're basically told, and you basically say your prayers that your life is over and you're not going to see your kids again, and you say your final prayers, your final thoughts, and this is it that you're not coming home, when that thought process goes through your mind, I mean, it changes you, obviously. So after that deployment, I went back to Colorado, which is my home duty station. And like you said, my older two kids were in Ohio with their mom at this point.
And that was just kind of a really empty feeling coming home, because that was probably the first time I came home from deployment and really had nothing. I mean, nothing was there.
You know, my kids weren't there. You know, at that point. My wife and I had been separated for a period of time, and so there was just nothing I was coming home to. And so mixed with all the emotions of what we already talked about, you know, that was just a very, very shallow, very empty feeling, you know, kind of walking into silence.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Where did you go after Colorado?
[00:01:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I had. At that point I had already been in for eight years, and at my six year mark, I signed up originally for six years, and then at my six year mark I signed up for another six. So I'd been in probably for close to seven. Already went through my first reenlistment at that point. So I was already in for another four or five years, you know, so I was trying to get closer to home, home being Ohio, or home being what eventually became home to get closer to my kids. And so that kind of became the mission of trying to get closer. So I'm in Colorado there in Ohio. I mean, that's a full day's drive just to get there, you know, military. So, you know, I'm not making a ton of money by any means. So, you know, flying home on a regular basis or flying to Ohio on a regular basis just, you know, wasn't feasible.
So I was trying to get my next duty station to be as close to the kids as I could.
That being the case, a special duty assignment, excuse me, a special duty assignment in New Jersey, which was closer, you know, not certainly as close as I wanted to be, but was closer than Colorado popped up. So I applied for that and was able to get that as my next order, as my next duty station. So went out to Fort Dix, New Jersey to be a weapons instructor as well as pre deployment instructor. So that's what I went out there to do was out there for. That's where I spent the rest of my time, active duty in the military.
But then also when I was there, I was able to get into the Phoenix Raven course, which I eventually became the program manager for, which is kind of a higher demand course. I'm not going to compare it to anything else, but you know, one of those courses that is very physically and mentally demanding graduated from there, which basically meant that I was able to go on to Raven missions from there. So my next three deployments, if you want to call them that, I mean, some people would, some people wouldn't, but the next three times that I went overseas to say that they were all short trips based upon Raven missions that we had. And as a Raven, once you graduate, you get a Raven number. To this day, I want to say, and I might be a little off, but there's probably about 3,500 of us in the, in the Air force. I was 1563. 1563 was my raven number when I graduated.
But as a Raven, you are basically trained to go to places by aircraft, usually a C17, C130 that we did not have ground security already set up. Essentially when we got on the ground, whatever we were doing there. So we could be going to an airstrip out in the middle of a grass field.
But that mission was to drop off water, drop off humanitarian aid, drop off whatever it is that we needed to do there as a mission. And while we were on the ground, there was typically two ravens on the aircraft. And when we hit the ground, one would go in the front of the aircraft, one would go in the back of the aircraft. A lot of these countries, kind of like we talked about last time with, with Turkmenistan, they're sovereign countries, so they don't necessarily want to be known as having, you know, United States assistance or anything else. So generally speaking, we, you know, weren't out there with big guns, you know, to deter people away. And those people being, you know, residents of these third world countries that we were landing in, who wanted to get out, wanted to get out of whatever country that is and whatever force or way necessary. They were trying to get asylum, so they wanted us to let them on the plane. They wanted us to take care of them, to get them out of the country. Right. To get them back into America, basically, to have that freedom.
So when we would land, we would jump out. And we were trained in verbal judo, which is a technique, you know, using only, you know, verbal type of language to try to calm, you know, situations down. We were trained heavily in that. We were also trained in hand to hand combat and all that kind of stuff as well, if we ever needed that. Because like I said, generally we didn't have, you know, M16s, M4s, or long guns on us. You know, I kind of keep track of everything I did in the military by a number, right? So I know how many honor guard funerals that I did, I know how many combat sorties I flew on. I know how many, you know, this or that. And so I've been to 22 different countries. I spent 10 years in the military, total 22 different countries. And enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it, especially those last three, you know, overseas trips, because I was able to see a lot of different things very quickly without having to be in country for six to eight months.
So I got to fly around with the Secretary of Defense, you know, experience that from kind of country hopping with him for one of the trips. You know, just overall, just kind of good experiences for the most part with, within those.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: How long did you do that? 2009.
[00:07:16] Speaker B: So 2009 is actually when I was medically retired from the military. So, you know, backing up a little bit. So I went on those three overseas trips. Like I said, I enjoyed that. And then I started running into some medical issues and really had. So my knee we've already talked about that was still flaring up, still had some issues with that somewhat random MRI of my brain.
They, they did one and ended up finding that I had a cyst right in the middle of my brain and nothing that they could operate on, nothing that they could do. It's still there to this day. I'm supposed to get it checked on a regular basis and I don't. But that was basically enough for the military to include. I already had ptsd, I'd already been deployed five times, I already had a blown out knee. I've already had all of this other stuff, right.
So that was enough for the military basically to say on paper, you know, you've had enough. And so at 10 years, generally you do not. At 10 years, medical, medical, you know, removal kind of from the military, you don't generally get retirement. You go in front of a board, you know, they look at your paperwork, they look at, you know, everything that you've done or accomplished or whatever else, and they, they decide, you know, whether or not you're going to get medically discharged or medically retired. Difference being that medically retired, I get full benefits for the rest of my life. My kids get benefits, health benefits, everything.
You know, my spouse gets benefits, all of that. I get, you know, other things that go along with that as well. As far as being being retired versus just being discharged. So in 2009, I was, I was fairly quickly medically discharged and found myself out of the military within a couple of months.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: So at that point, you're sitting in Ohio, New Jersey.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: So then I, I mean, I got out of the military, I was in New Jersey still.
But as soon as I got out, which was somewhat planned, just in a month, you know, two months at most that I had in advance, ended up going to Ohio after I got out and kind of settling in Ohio where my other two kids were.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: So you ended up in Ohio. And now we're talking what, 2009, 2010, July 29, 2009. Where are you at career wise, out of the military? What, what are you looking at? Like, so, yeah, a quick overview. Yeah, it was very quick. I know nothing's quick, but yeah, what are you, what are you looking at.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: In 2009, 2010, 2009? I mean, it wasn't a great time economically. You know, we were still within the, the height of the recession, you know, 2008, 2009. So, you know, jobs were not in abundance, they were not easy to come by.
Granted also, I mean, I'm in this position where I just got in the military after 10 years. I turned 19 years old when I was in basic training. So, you know, going back to the story from before, I had four, five, six, you know, part time and short time jobs.
So I wasn't really prepared to get out. I really didn't know what I was doing.
You know, I thought, well, yeah, you know, I'm a veteran. You know, everybody wants to hire a veteran. You see that on the news all the time. And you still got to do the right things. You still have to know the right.
[00:10:59] Speaker A: People, all the same thing.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: And so I'm also in Ohio, which is not where I grew up. I grew up in Illinois. So all of my family, all of my network is in Illinois and I'm in Ohio. So really didn't have Anything strong there? My ex wife was there and her family and the two kids. And Brenna, who is my wife, she is actually in Ohio there. She wasn't my wife at the time, but she's there and helping with the kids too. And we are just kind of setting up shop there. So long story short, I actually spend the next 15 months after I got out of the military, next 15 months. So it was a good year and a half, almost on unemployment. I mean, I was applying for jobs every day. I mean, there was a day went by that I was doing interviews or applying for jobs or whatever I needed to do to try to get jobs, and just nothing was happening. You joked at one point during our podcast too about the whole Ryan for Regis campaign.
At one point. Actually, I think I see it on Facebook every once in a while. I mean, it would have been 2010, 2011, something along those lines when you.
[00:12:08] Speaker A: Tried out for Regis.
[00:12:09] Speaker B: It would have been, yeah, it had been shortly after that. It'd been probably 2012 when all of that happened. But there was legit a point. And I have a Facebook memory that pops up certain time of the year that I posted and it basically said, you know, I'm tired of looking for jobs, so I'm just going to start applying for reality shows. And that's what I did. I applied for Survivor. I applied for Big Brother. I applied for, you know, Real World or whatever it was at the time, Survivor, you know, and I just started applying for all these reality jobs.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: Regis and Kelly. Ryan ended up getting it.
[00:12:47] Speaker B: Ryan Seacrest.
[00:12:48] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, the other Ryan.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: The other Ryan.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: You were. What response did you get back from them?
[00:12:54] Speaker B: The, the kind of thing with that. So Regis Philbin. At the time, it was, it was Regis and Kelly. I was always a fan of that show. For whatever reason, even as a child, I would watch that show. I applied to be on that show at a very young age because I can very, very weirdly jump on a trampoline for a long time. And I applied to be on that show and the whole Guinness Book of World Records, you know, they do that. So I was always kind of fascinated with Regis and even Kathie Lee at that time. And then Kelly took over for Kathie Lee. I know all the history of that. But very awkwardly, Regis was getting ready to retire and Kelly Ripa, who was the co host at the time, they were doing, you know, searches for, you know, the next Regis and who was going to replace Regis. And so it was right around that time where, you know, I was like, Screw this. I can't find a job. I'm just going to apply for, you know, all the reality shows that I can and so on and so forth. So I started a campaign as a buddy of mine there in Ohio. We started a campaign, and it was Ryan for Regis.
How many people of that reach, you know, within, you know, probably a week of even doing this? I mean, there was, you know, probably a couple thousand followers on Facebook, you know, nothing. Nothing huge. But then the local news picked it up, so they, they come out and, you know, invited me to, you know, do a news broadcast and all of that. So ended up being on the news and, you know, we're submitting all of this to the, you know, Reg and, and Kelly show and, and all this stuff. So anyway, yeah, so it was, mind.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: You, fast track, 2020, 2021. I mean, I know none of this.
However, we're like a year and a half into our friendship, and you're like, oh, yeah, by the way, I tried out for, yeah, Kelly and Regis. And I'm like, you got to be kidding me. You did not try for this.
[00:14:50] Speaker B: I did. And. And yeah, I mean, this is no joke.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: I mean, you, you tried it. You submitted videos.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: Like, you made it into a certain level.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Yep. All the news picked it up and. And was on. On all the news and all that kind of fun stuff. And, and yeah, no, it kind of ended up being a thing. Just probably a, A, you know, a couple of beers into a night with a buddy, you know, and ended up, you know, being a thing. And it was fun. I enjoyed it. I mean, it was like, I don't know, kind of a fun time for a period of time, but, you know, still struggling to find work and all that kind of stuff.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: What brings you to Illinois? What takes us to our chapter?
[00:15:33] Speaker B: So kind of closing that gap up and a couple of little things in between there. So right around that time of Ryan for Regis, I ended up applying for a position to help veterans find jobs. Right. So who better else, you know, somebody who's been on unemployment, who was a veteran, been on unemployment. I'm a disabled veteran at this point because of my injuries and whatnot in the military.
So I kind of somewhat accidentally stumbled upon this job application. I fill it out, I go through the interview process, end up getting a job with the state of Ohio Department of Job and Family Services. My first day on the job, I go and meet this guy. He was legit. And I say this, and this has actually been a big topic of discussion in Ohio as well, five miles away from my house, where I spent 15 months looking for a job, where I spent 15 months applying for and interviewing and doing all the things wrong.
Five miles away from my house is what they call a disabled veteran outreach program specialist. So somebody who gets paid from the state of Ohio to help veterans like me find it, find jobs. But I had no idea that five miles away, you know, this, this guy sat. And how would you. Well, that was a disconnect that. Well, that's kind of my, my, my feeder into all of this is at that point when I started working for them, I was like, okay, you know, this, this, it became my thing, it became my, my desire to try to close that gap for other veterans. You know, it started to drive me just because I knew what I went through, I knew what my family went through. You know, I knew how long it took for, for me. So I started to really brainstorm and I became very good at that job because I was able to put myself in those shoes just from, from very recent experience. But then I also was brainstorming, you know, hey, if somebody new moved here, you know, where would they go to? Okay, well, let's go put up a flyer at the post office. Let's go put up a flyer at the, the bmv, which is what the DMV in Ohio is called any connection point that, you know, somebody new or coming out of the military, you know, would have, or where would they go, where would they meet, you know, the veterans service office and all of this kind of stuff. And really started to make a lot of connections there and was successful in helping others find jobs based upon the drive that I had in me because of my experience there. So here I am for a period of time. I got promoted several times out after that. So I wasn't necessarily working with just veterans anymore, but within, within six years of working for the state of Ohio, I went from a intermittent part time disabled veteran outreach program specialist to the assistant deputy director of the whole office.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: So how, again, how did you come to know the guy that was 5 miles or however far away from you? Did you like, how did that. Just by happenstance?
[00:18:44] Speaker B: Just by happenstance? Yeah. No, I just, I legit went to my first day on the job and I got an email saying, hey, go to this address. The address was five miles away. I get into his office and he's like, oh, yeah, this is what we're doing. This is what your job is. This is what my job is. And he was legit five miles away.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: What brings you back to Illinois and then how do we meet?
[00:19:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, so I think that's. Try to get through that.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: Let's talk about the most important. How do we meet? Let's just get to that point.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: So, yeah, there we were, Brennan and I, and the. My older two kids, who at the time were the only two kids, but we were in Ohio and enjoying life. We were very close with them as they were growing up and going through adolescence and all that kind of stuff. So yeah, so 2021, we closed in our house in Washington, illinois here in 20. And probably April time frame, March, April timeframe. Our son was graduating that, that May. So right. As soon, as soon as we kind of moved back here, he was graduating high school. He had acceptance to University of Kentucky, which ended up going to Ohio University.
But yeah, no, all of that was kind of fast forward. And as soon as we moved back, April time frame, Little League baseball was just getting ready to start and probably within a month maybe, you know, of, of 2021, I'm, I'm on the outside. I didn't know anybody. I mean, I didn't know anybody in Washington either. So again, like I said, Brendan and I are both from Henry, so we didn't know Washington. If you put the dots together, the only reason I know Washington at that time was because of Tim. Your.
[00:20:26] Speaker A: But your buddy. Yeah, Coach pitch, youth baseball and park district shit. Adam Merrick's guy. Adam Merrick, we are the assistants.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: Brandon Stokes is the head coach. You are not a coach by any stretch of the matter.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: I mean, I was on the ground for maybe a month.
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Your kid is there, you've got a bucket. I think you kind of adhered to.
Hey, I'll kind of sit by the backstop. I don't really give a shit about what we got going on. However, now we're in the championship game now. Or no, now we're in like the, the pre championship game and then now we're in the championship game and Stokes has to be somewhere else. Yeah, it's just like me and Adam Merrick, and Adam Merrick's putting in like four. He's putting in like two Zins, two Copenhagen pouches. And I'm going, jesus. I mean, he's up there throwing pitches like 80 mile an hour heaters.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: This is soft, soft toss, you know, kid pitch.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: I mean, at this point, I mean, you were throwing pitches in just be like, God damn it, kid, just hit like.
[00:21:38] Speaker B: I mean, you're aiming at their bat.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: So you're throwing darts at this point and that's the part where I'm like, dude, Adam, just literally we're not trying to strike these guys out. I mean, he comes out, you pitch.
[00:21:51] Speaker B: To your own team, you're pitching to your own team.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: He comes out. I mean, dude's got 60 milligrams of nicotine in his mouth. He's coming out like NOLAN Ryan throwing 90, 95, 100 mile an hour fastballs. I'm like, God damn it, Adam. I'm like, this is. You're in the final inning, man.
[00:22:09] Speaker B: Which. Which he did later admit that he saw like four kids in the batter's box at each time.
[00:22:14] Speaker A: Here I am trying to figure out how to navigate the waters of coaching my own kid. Coaching your kid, Coaching other kids. We're in a championship game, which at this point I'm like, this is dumb as al shit.
[00:22:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:30] Speaker A: Because we're literally trying to pitch to our own kid.
[00:22:32] Speaker B: This is seven. You mind you.
[00:22:35] Speaker A: Seven years, seven you. And at this point, I mean, I give zero about what is going on, but I get put into the now head coach position because Brandon is gone. However, I'm also living the world of, well, we got to play every kid. We need to put all the kids in different positions, blah, blah, blah.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: I'm a strategy guy, right. So Brennan and I just moved here, right?
Just not really knowing and only had seen Austin maybe in passing and on the field. And there's a certain arrogance level, you know, with. With my. My buddy Austin here. So we're sitting there and. And he puts, you know, at 7U. He. It's very important the pitching mound person. They're not pitching. It's just like the, the. The kid that they put in the pitching mound circle at that.
[00:23:32] Speaker A: Which point it's very important because.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: Very important. That's where all the balls are.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: Listen, the ball. Yeah, the ball is being played there. Yes.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Non. Strategically. In a championship game, towards the end of. Of the innings we start losing some and he puts a few of the boys that probably, you know.
Yeah. Didn't need to be up in the. In the front in that position for a few innings. And our lead is diminishing by the minute.
[00:24:01] Speaker A: By the second.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: We ended up pulling it out, you know, a very important 7U championship game. We did end up pulling it out, but it was definitely a nail biter.
[00:24:11] Speaker A: I still don't know that we are the best of friends. I would say not happenstance. However it then comes from the next baseball season. Travel happens. Our kids don't make naturally the. The top team and Then that is where I think our friendship blossoms. I don't know where I was going with that, but part two of this, we've covered a shitload of your history. I think there's so much more to cover yet.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, overall, yeah, five. Five deployments overall, and 22 countries.
[00:24:50] Speaker A: 22 countries.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: 76 honor guard funerals to include the last one I did, which was Tim's, my buddy of mine. Like I said, I kind of keep a track of all of this from a numbers perspective.
27 combat sorties, which is just a flight, basically.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: But, yeah, as one of your best friends, it's crazy to think about how much I haven't even uncovered of what you. What you've gone through in your journey. And to me, man, like, I don't know, it's. It's still eye opening. And, man, I appreciate everything about you. I appreciate you giving your time to this podcast, to you giving your time to this country, to you doing what you've done. And I still think, again, as one of your closest friends, like, I haven't really even truly understood, like, everything you've gone through.
And, And I think it says a lot about you to sit back and be a.
Again, a dad, a coach. I've watched you coach these boys, and we talk about all how you. We're not coaching them as baseball players. We're coaching them as young men. You know, we're coaching them to their next level.
[00:26:09] Speaker B: Life.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: Life. Life of. Of who they're going to be and what they're going to deal with. So for me, man, like, doing this podcast has been one of the best things ever.
I don't know, maybe there's literally four people that ever watch this, but it's been therapy. Therapy for me. It's been therapy, I think, for you, absolutely. And I think we're only going to continue to get better at it, but I don't. Man, I appreciate everything you have. You have to offer and all the insight, and I've loved every single podcast we just interviewed, James, and your insight, all of our insights of, you know, mental health and what we've gone through, man, I. I appreciate it.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I'm. I'm getting chills just. Just, you know, sitting here and. And thinking about it. I think one of the, The.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: The biggest.
[00:26:56] Speaker B: Biggest things we talk about this probably on almost every artist, musical artist podcast that we've done is, you know, the music is the chapters of our lives. And I think that's. That's kind of the Culmin, not Culmination. Because it's certainly not the end, but it's kind of the thing that brought us together. I mean, when we started talking about music and festivals and stuff like that and then started helping with tailgate and tall boys. But even today, obviously with the podcast, country music or music as a whole is a huge part of us spending all of this time that we do together.
But again, that to me is what brings it to the forefront of the mental health of the different chapters in our lives, different experiences that we go through. And we have had several artists that we've talked to and even outside of artists talk to about the mental health stuff and, and what they go through and, and the experiences that, that we go through and, and again those chapters. So no, I appreciate, appreciate the hell out of you.
[00:28:01] Speaker A: I appreciate the out of you. And here is to absolutely every other episode we do, man. Cheers.
